suddenly rem-ed tt i had this blog, haha. wanted to pen down some thoughts…

Why do i feel so reluctant tt i’m already 27yrs old n ‘supposed’ to get married v soon?? It’s not really tt i’m nt happy w wp or watsoever, but i just feel like, am i ready? it’s contradicting though.. at e same time, i can’t wait to get married quickly, like i shld high-time get married already!!

i feel like, i haven’t ‘enjoyed’ myself at all….. or had enuff fun? at times, i wished i go party ard like some others do (even like when they’re ard my age).. i somehow feel like i haven’t lived a v fulfilling/ exciting life in this sense….. it’s just tt my friends aren’t the sort so i’m not exposed to it either… Not tt i wld be VERY upset/ DIE w/o it… I’m happy now, to be honest, i have a great family, who loves me…. doting bf (though there r those times i tend to lose faith in certain aspects…)… friends.. i don’t have too many close friends to be honest but i’m glad i have a few closer friends tt i know i can look for them (i guess) if i wan 2.. just tt i usually keep things to myself.

but it’s just sometimes i kinda ‘envy’ those who seem like they have so much fun partying ard with their girl (or even guy) friends…. perhaps i am those who dislike a too-routined/ ‘mundane’ life so to speak.

oh well, it’s just these random thoughts tt pop up my mind. once in a while……

ciaoz..

But at this very moment, I actually feel v bored… Constantly looking into my facebook homepage… Wondering what pages I can surf.

& thought I cld probably do some blogging. (actually I’m surfing hula & co webbie right now!!)

Anywayz, I tried this previously and my comments for it… Not as good as I thought. I thought the adhesive would be v strong but ended up so-so. To me, it’s probably at 3/5. Not so fantastic. Either that, or I used it the wrong way… Will only know after a few more tries…

Fashion tape I bought online...

In any case, my back is like aching right now… SIGH.

wp’s still working, poor thing. He has been working late recently, today… SUPER LATE.

Done with window-shopping at Hula & Co., lucky I din buy anything.

I’m soooo bored now… I tried to watch Survivor, but all the videos seem to have prob loading. So I gave up e idea.

It’s so late now, think I’ll give him a call. Byebye ‘diary’!

Worked on my new job for like, half a mth? Everything’s gg pretty much fine except for some ‘oops~~’ but act minor things to worry bt. it was kinda worrying/ nervewrecking to know my direct superior wld be out of town the next week onwards (where i just joined for 3-4 days) and 2 colleagues wld be on leave the following week. today my superior’s back… Colleagues coming back tomorrow… So far everything’s still alright, I guess. So pretty glad too~ Colleagues r nice, bosses seem nice. working hrs NOT CRAZY… Location nt too far… What more can I ask for? haha

Got e 1st pay for Mar. Finally got income! Nt much but better than nth… See if it can lasts till next pay.

Recently my breathing seems to be worse, don’t know why… Is it really a prob or caused mentally? V sian man~~ But don’t intend to go c the doc (polyclinics) anymore, think it’s futile…

Dunno why there’s these TWO big pimples (or considered acnes??) at my chin area!! Anyway they’re 2 big bumps that r pretty obvious and it looks damn ugly. e 1 of my left side hurts and doesn’t seem to subside after so long!! I actually tried to do some bursting earlier (say 2 days b4?) but to no avail, as in, damn painful & nth managed to come out. So I decided, put pimple cream and let it heal by itself… But it’s taking darn long to disappear… So today it finally got on my nerve and i tried bursting both. Well the left one didn’t really burst out in explosion, just a little bit (to me it doesn’t consider a complete burst and will still persist.. :(( ) while the right actually burst out in explosion! (to my delight!!) haha. Ew yes, i know… WAHAHAH. But shucks, tomorrow I have a meeting and will be meeting other ppl and shucks, red big pimple (e left one) plus healing still-obvious bump on my chin. Well ,thanks.

But now mood’s feeling quite relieved. At least i got a good job, getting the income… No crazy hrs. Time seems to pass pretty quickly actually ever since i start working, though i have to admit there r really the bored times so to speak. But anyway, all’s well and may everything good continue coming along!!! :DDD

Anywayz, e great news is I was offered a job! I rcv’d a call this morn & I went ahead to pick it up with my voice sounding damn slpy & obviously just awake… & I was starting to feel thrilled as I heard Yilin (she’s e HR person whom I saw during e interview) mention e company & her name… It means I (probably) had gotten the job!

In conclusion, I accepted her offer later in e afternoon though it was a pity tt e pay cldn’t be negotiated. But nevertheless, this is a great beginning & a great thing for me to be able to work in a established/ big organisation… Moreover I am really sick & tired of job-hunting already… I wish to stay here for a longer period of time before I make any other plans. The big minus abt it is probably the probation period… it’s like 6 months??? Tt seems sooooooooo long… GOSH. But wat to do? It’s nt a factor for me to reject e job, right?

& guess wat, I’m to report to work tom?? How sudden can tt be???? Honestly, my mood is still like.. wat the…….. kinda weird la. haha* happy tt I got this job!! but abit sian tt e nua-ing is finally over.. lol.

A coincidence tt both r Wednesdays eh… I passed my test last wed, & I got this gd news today… heheh. Good good. Hopefully this means gd luck is coming my way & everything will go on smoothly……

Anywayz I have to include this (to make more worth e $$$!! ah-hahahaha!!!). With regards to last Wednesday’s post on the ‘fight’……… It’s all gd now as I was won over by………….

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e surprise flowers!!

Hahaha.. yes… I was still betrayed by e flowers.. Somehow it worked. lol* I wld say it’s really a pleasant surprise & I didn’t expect it AT ALL…….. When e delivery lady came during Thu morn.. Me & my dad were like, ????. Especially my dad!! He even thought it wasn’t for me… wahaha* So, I can say it totally worked its magic on me. Considering I was really damn angry (before). haha.

I think tt’s all for e positive aura… :D Well, tom’s my first day of work & I won’t be so free anymore!!! I can’t wait to get my first pay though~ ($_$) – I need $$$!!!!

I hope, & I really hope, tt this new job will be a great working environment for me & then I can happily stay to work & strive hard there… :) Tolong tolong le!!

Today is SUPPOSED to be a darn happy day!! Obvious, becoz I PASSED my driving test, moreover it is my v first attempt. e kind of “I-cannot-believe-it” + “HENG-AR!!!” kinda joy u instantly get upon hearing e word ‘pass’ from e tester… how my heart was beating so damn fast & hard while waiting in e room to be called to start e test (I was already freaking gan qiong since e night b4 coz I cldn’t slp a wink!). when it comes to e ‘pass’, it suddenly seems like a big load off ur heart & all worth it (of coz if I failed, it would be a whole diff perspective…) But watever it is, e point is, I passed. & of coz I wanted to like share w e whole wide world (of coz I didn’t – i just wanted 2 share e happy news to my closer ones).

But e ironic thing abt today is NOW… @ this instant: I AM FEELING SO F**KING PISSED.

I didn’t slp a wink ytd night… I went straight to circuit practice @ 7am (thank u daddy for fetching me to & fro all this while – now it’s all worth it). How I was cannot help but worry when it was raining since e night, even until whilst e test… Raining means e mirrors’ vision will be affected, might be blur… Road is more slippery… Moreover, I usually practise when it’s NOT raining. When it’s pouring, e mirrors r like totally ‘unsee-able’. How I got more & more nervous upon e nearing of e test time…

was supposed to meet jw for breakfast during my short break b4 I start e test but somehow e rain, scenario & procedures (flow of events) did nt allow so, but he came down anyway & we didn’t get to actually ‘meet’ coz I was already in e room (ard 9am I think) waiting w e other testees for our tests… When my tester called me out, I saw him standing there & yes I am v thankful he came down to support me… & I felt sorry tt he sort of came down for nth. oops*

Ok, so e test started (I won’t go into details). Then ended (honestly I was slightly surprised coz I didn’t expect it to end for wat seemed quite quickly for me). I followed the tester up to the 2nd level, a room where all the testers will review/ reveal e results to the testees… He started off by telling me my mistakes, & my eyes had to be in contact w him (so I’m nt rude) but yet I can’t help but try to peek at e score sheet. Finding any indication if I’ve passed, or failed. Then finally after e so-many mistakes I’ve seemed to make (& in my head wondering if they were fatal), he said I passed. Boy I tell u how glad I felt at that instant! I was like worrying more & more as he told me my mistakes… Becoz e more he said, e more demerit pts I’m getting…

Then we had 2 watch this video… blah blah blah. & so I went home (daddy came to pick me up :)). Boy I felt so tired… Well, I haven’t slpt at all… & all the anxiety earlier… But still, I was feeling a pleasant tiredness…

I ate fried bee hoon that my beloved gma cooked for us. & yes I have to thank her for praying for me this morning too!! THANK U AH MA!! LOVE YA!! MUACKZ!!

Then………………… I cldn’t help but fall aslp. So, so, so tired…

e next thing I know, when I finally “wake up”, I seemed to have lost all that sweetness & joy & I felt v grouchy & a little uncomfy (due to my cramps acting on me). (But still I’m damn lucky e cramps didn’t come & find me mush earlier…) It’s like a ‘different’ day for me. Totally different mood from earlier… Oh well, still I did look forward to meeting wp for some kind of ‘celebration’.

And guess wat? OK, we fought. I won’t go into e details…

& yes I prob will rem this ‘shitty’ day of mine since it was so impactful… lol*

Sucky. Don’t know wat 2 write anymore…

Byez.

Duhz… & now it’s back to JOB-HUNTING slammed onto my face. Just sent a whole lot of applications (my usual style – in bulks) & have 2 interviews scheduled on Monday… I wonder if my expectations seems to have raised much too coz I am quite into looking at bigger/ established companies now.. e previous few I’m keen wasn’t keen on me though. :(

Anywayz, job-hunting will still go on & will nvr be ‘away’ from me permanently.. hahaz*

Right now, I am v focused on PASS-ing my driving test which is just next Wed!!! Can u (more like ‘I’ actually) believe it?? I’ve been thinking I’ve taken a darn long time to book my test & thus e test goes just these few days after my pdl expiry.. & now it is just next wk!! to be honest, I’m quite freaking out, nt tt I don’t really have confidence in my driving skills, but u know, I’m e sort who can’t slp & get damn gan qiong over things like this, so it might go hay-wire (who knows?). Besides, it’s my 1st time (hopefully e last!) & I don’t really know wat to expect. I do do some stupid careless mistakes at times, so I daren’t really judge if I may pass e test or nt. Heng/ suay also plays a part I guess. But I do hope I’ll pass otherwise it’ll mean I’m incurring more expenses. I’ve spent bout $1.2K++ I guess & it’s quite on e high side for private learning. & it also means I’ve taken MORE lessons than others, so e probability of passing shld be higher……… right? (yes.. it’s logical.)

My test is like 9.15am lor.. 7am is my warm-up in e circuit.. 8am will drive out half hr w my instructor….. then rest & wait for e final moment.. oh nooo~~ i hope i dun freak out by then & do stupid mistakes becoz of tt!!

& YES, I better rem to ask my instructor bout e-brake. nvr heard him mention b4 to me……. & I’m nt sure how it goes too!

SIGH* even after cny, I didn’t put on any weight, I still look e same, as thin as ever.. & it’s damn frustrating. I just wanna put on a little more weight so I look more proportionate & nicer in clothes. It seems so bloody diff!! But i also know I think my diet plays a HUGE part in it. U see, I love veggies… Don’t favour rice.. Get sick of eating e same thing easily.. Nt a meat-lover e.g. I usually avoid meat other than KFC/ wings etc. & I eat quite little I guess. It depends, unless it’s something I’m craving/ seldom eat at all, I might have a huge-er appetite.. If nt, I’ll just eat a little & become full (maybe coz I feel sick of it already). Which is bad, doesn’t help at all in making me grow fat. Tried to maintain drinking FULL-CREAM MILK everyday, probably at least twice, but too lazy to pour out at times… gosh. v bad. hahaha………. just let me grow fatter come on!!!

It seems a gd environment to work in, ppl seem ok (nt like dead quiet ofc-I usually have bad impressions of awfully dead quiet offices), job scope seems relevant & wat I want to venture into, gd career prospects (to grow perhaps otherwise in my resume)… A&P executive. Yes, I wld like tt job. Pls call me for a 2nd rd of interview…

I do hope I will be selected because just ytd, I had this dream abt my gpa where he was stuffing me with money (notes). I’m glad to have dreamt of him again, plus e fact tt this dream probably symbolizes something gd. & tt he is still watching closely over me… :) U know, e feeling like Gpa knows I am short of money now & 心疼s me by offering me money… He was like so happy in e dream, & e funny (or maybe weird to a certain extent) thing is I felt like he had this beam of triumph in his smile when he finally pushed e money into my blouse (yes, from e front) as my hands were occupied & cldn’t really push it away… Watever e dream meant, I’m still glad to have dreamt of him & seeing him happy & concerned bt me. Thank you ah gong…

Well, hope they’ll call me by………………………. Next Wed maybe??? PLS PLS PLS PLS!!!

Oh, & just something to share… I actually accidentally used “pissed off” in e conversation & I was like, so regretful in my head hoping she wldn’t mind too much abt this ‘not-so-nice’ language… Used in a formal interview. -_-” What’s wrong w u LIPING?!?!?!?!? argh~ SIGH. BIG SIGH.

Am trying out blogging thr ipod touch… Lol* lying on my bed… Waiting 4 dear dear to call me… lights off.

Hmm… Can i even upload photos?? Coz i have new polaroid photos 2 share… Yep, tt’s right. I used this (ippd touch) 2 edit 1… Lol* & somehow i’m loving it so much tt i uploaded a whole lot of them into fb.

(ok, seems tt i CAN upload e photos here!! Nt bad!!)

Here r just SOME of e polaroid photos put of even more. :))) – it seems i can’t control where they appear so they’re act right at e bottom.

As i browsed thr my photo archives to look for my gpa’s 2 xfer to e ipod touch + do some polarizing as i realised there weren’t any of his photos coz i only xferred last yr’s photos, i begin 2 miss him again… Still wish he was here, w us…

As i upload e photos to fb (photos viewing), i was reminded tt he used 2 walk in curious (or perhaps feeling bored) of wat i was doing, peering into e screen while i was viewing fb photos… But i just didn’t really bother 2 respond/ bother him too much n he wld walk out… Then i tot of my gma who also does walk in to peer wat i am doing n i kind of respond e same way as how i did to him… I suddenly felt a strong sense of regret towards him, a strong sense of guilt towards my gma… Y is it always when u lose some1 u’ll realise u cld have done much betta… I really still miss him lots. Cny’s coming, i think it’s time 2 visit him… :’(

Didn't know wat else to put. haha~ Thought this is a nice loving pic of us...

Thought this is a v close shot (both in our ties & well, e actual photo shot - waha) & daddy O's grin looks so funny here... & mummy looks so sweet. :)

Xiao Xiu Xiu (mummy hammy) looks like a princess waitin for her prince... so cute this pic of hers!!

my magical kiss. lol*

Papa looks v tourist like here!! (though he IS really a tourist in tt scenario)

I love this pic. V natural. V 复古. Gma looks so happy to have her hair managed by her trusted friend.

ah gong just looks so adorable here man!! eating e cakie.. lol*

I like this kinda shots (mirror reflections) but e stupid bird shit just had to be so big & ruin everything!!!

Taken @ Huiyi's house during CNY (dunno which yr exactly - lazy to think). Thought this pic of us looking so shy is v cute (& swt). :)

me & cla @ Sentosa. Trying to do some pose~~ wahaha. imagine~~ we r dancers~~~

This is damn comical la!! WAHAHA

it was a Sentosa outing so... 'BEACHY' lor. Or bitchy?? In any case, I thought it's kinda cOol. hahaha

Gpa w his newly-purchased N95!! (I'm using it now!!) He looks sooo delighted like a small boy!! :D

He has such a innocent smile here!! We both loved e cam, he wld use to be v sporting & enjoyed taking photos... I miss him.

[Pls note: Comments on photos r added later using my desktop when I cld 'edit' e photos... :PPP I thought I wanted to comment a little on e photos & share some thoughts/ meaning... OK-ciaoz!! Last edit: 3 Feb, 1.38pm]

Ppl involved: Fin, myself, wp, xinmin peepz such as jw etc? (I think), some police/ civil force peepz (unknown), a older uncle but apparently ‘friends’ of us & ‘with’ us

& it somehow started w us (e gang) hanging out tog & we were traveling in this car (dunno whose though) but at this destination (somebody’s house issit) there seemed to be a ‘fight’ as there is sorta a mini accident (between cars I think). So e uncle got off to reason, nt sure if there were/ who were e other guys. But I think I somehow stayed in e car… & then I was boozing, & watching some show thr a mini TV/ screen in e middle area between e 4 seats so my head is always held low & I wasn’t paying attention to wat else was gg on…

Until I decided to lift up my head & saw it was ah fin who was driving e damn car!! & I was e only passenger who was seated behind!! It was like damn weird lar, I was like, “Watever happened??”, “Where is e rest?”, “How come fin fin is driving e car?”. I was v shocked & surprised in e dream especially at e fact tt I had no idea fin was driving e car & only we 2 were left in e car…

& then e weird thing is when I ‘expressed’ my ‘shock’ to ah fin she was like, “Ya lar… All e while I’m e one driving e car lor… U think what?” tt kinda sarcastic but teasing manner… I was like, so -_-”. So funny. (Fin commented shld be me driving, & nt her, coz she dun even have license!!) Aiya~ I mean, u have to be me/ fin or those who know her to imagine how she wld have looked like/ her way of response. Otherwise, it’s nt funny when u read like tt…

Well, e sort-of ‘climax’ is over but somehow me & fin were like stranded from e rest of e gang & while we r trying to get in touch/ be tog w them we were ‘pestered’ by a couple of police/ civil ppl who stopped us while we were driving… Trying to find fault w us (I still rem I was thinking hoping they din know we drank – can’t rem if fin drank though). & so e police/ civil peepz ‘joined’ us & e police officer decided he shall drive us to e police station. So -_-” lor… So when we reached, somehow e rest of e gang also arrived awhile later… Coz I rem wp (w e rest also) walking towards me with a gift in his hand (dunno given by who, but shld be e ‘outing’ from just now tt me & fin missed out).

It seemed tt while we were pestered by e police/ civil peepz, e rest were also like ‘waiting’ for us to join them (but of coz unfortunately still didn’t manage to) so we’re like ‘telling’ them we got into some trouble & r heading to e police station. So I guess tt is why they ended up there to find us also. (Prob also coz e outing kinda ended already…)

Somehow we (me & fin) managed to “get away” coz when wp they all came, we just joined them & left… So dumb right. & tt ends my dream. Wahahaha~

Here’s my previous look:

Previous Look

Actually to be honest, I browsed thr e themes & didn’t really find any I loved, so I might chg this if I see something better. lol*

Till then, this oh-so-GREEN theme shall be my new look!! (Somehow “Cozel’s Cozy Cove” fits this hor? wahaha)

CHEERS!!!